but the water caved in on us
before i could finish this poem
i wanted to write about you
my lover
but you're gone now
you've been gone so long
i wanted to write about how
i've accepted your absence
but i don't know how
i'm afraid
how do i do this?
how can i show myself to you
how can i prove my growth to you
i ask and i ask
so many questions, no response
i wish for a sign
anything i could use
but if you've been gone all these years
how could you ever talk to me?
you've probably already moved on
but the truth is, i haven't
i want to so badly
how could i ever hope to be like you
amazing, perfect
a better writer, a better singer
better for your community
why would you ever choose me
why did we end up together
without you, this is torture
when you died
it was torture
you've meant something to me all this time
do i mean anything to you now?
i know you're up there, somewhere
baby, i've been growing, i promise
i know what i cry about when i'm alone
but it's all for my sake
one day i'll be okay without you
on the beach where we first met
the beach we revisited for our first kiss
the beach where you accepted me
to be your lover, despite knowing
what i am compared to you
you loved me so much
i loved you more
now, i'll prove it
i'll show you
i walk the line of the beach and the shore
the water rushes against my bare feet
the wind brushes against my face
it feels freeing, almost
then, i lock eyes with it
the cave where you and i hid
the day we revisited the beach
one year after our proclamation
it's still so dark in here
the only light comes from the entrance
and perforations letting light seep through
i kneel and pray in the center
despite having no beliefs
i just want you to hear my voice
it's been years without you now
heaven knows i'm lost without you now
but i've accepted it
i'll find myself
i stand proud, yelling
i must look mad
but i don't care!
i love you!
and i'll show you
i'm capable of being your equal!
i'm capable of moving on!
i'm...
i hear a roar outside the cave
truthfully, it must have been there
but my voice overpowered it
because it only took seconds
for the water to cave in on me
before i could finish this poem