Is this really okay?
Can we do this to each other
After so many years of pain?
Will I ever forgive myself
And heal after all the times
My heart has bent for you?
But honestly, will you ever forgive yourself
After leading me astray for so many years
Without even knowing that
I loved you back?
No, you knew
And you still wanted to stay friends
But did you do that because you were afraid?
Or did you do that because you know
How easy my heart is to contort
Can we really say
We worked hard to get to this point?
Can we honestly say
Standing apart from each other like this
Only inches apart from our lips
That all the pain was worth it?
I can't really say
I'll be able to give you a solid answer
Because I can confidently say
I choose matter over mind
I thought you and I were fantasy
While I struggled to face reality
You were getting ready to become mine
And so here we are
In this dimly lit ally by your boyfriend's place
You and I shouldn't be doing this
Hell is us if we keep lying
To ourselves and to the people around us
Who we seem to love just barely less than each other
If we're really going behind their backs
To kiss in this dimly lit ally by your boyfriend's place
I don't have the heart to tell you
My heart really can't take you
You can fill the empty side of my bed all you want
But the truth is I'll just cry again
And I'll let my tears fall again
Even if they're on your shoulder
Being in your presence will make me cry
So I let my tears fall anyway
As I'm kissing, making out with you
Melting into it, wrapping my arms around you
You're on your tippy toes, backing me to a wall
And hell is us if I let go of you now
So I'll just keep kissing you anyway
Even if it's right or wrong
I can always write my wrongs
Maybe one day
I'll stop writing these songs
All about you
But hell is us if I let go now
And I don't want to throw my whole life away
But your beautiful lips
Are finally pressing onto mine
It's hard to deny my heart is enchanted
Even if it lay in smithereens
This poem is about you but you'll never know that
No matter how you figured it out
Hell is us if I decide to show you these poems, and...
Hell is us if we decide to let this go